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6 posts from November 2007

November 29, 2007

RELATIONSHIP POWER PACK: ADDING A LITTLE TENDERNESS TO YOUR RELATIONSHIPS

I’m very excited to announce the arrival of my new Couples Power Pack and my new Parents Power Pack! These three-in-one card deck packs consist of Tender Sprinkles, Tender Coupons, and Relationship Cornerstone cards.  These are great tools for adding a little spark to your romantic relationships and a little connection and fun to your relationships with children. You can use them for yourself or give them away as gifts to your family and friends.

Below are brief descriptions of each card set followed by one suggestion on how to use the cards in your
relationships. Feel free to contact me with any questions, suggestions, or feedback at

l.merlobooth@charter.net.

Until then, buy a pack today and add a little tenderness to your relationships!

Continue reading "RELATIONSHIP POWER PACK: ADDING A LITTLE TENDERNESS TO YOUR RELATIONSHIPS" »

November 28, 2007

RELATIONAL PARENTING AND…SPANKING??? The debate goes on…

Recently a proposal was made to make Massachusetts the first state in the nation to outlaw corporal punishment/spanking, in the home as well as out of the home. Although this is a recent proposal, people have been arguing this point for decades.

Personally, I’ve always found the concept of spanking to be an interesting one. As a child, I thought it was hypocritical for parents to say they loved you one minute and hit you with the belt or paddle the next. It never made sense that the ones who were supposed to be protecting kids were the ones the kids needed protection from. But what did I know? I was just a child.

As I got older and had my own children, this same thinking stuck with me…only stronger. I’ve watched parents go crazy on their children and grab them by the arm, yank them towards them, and WHACK them. I’ve worked with clients whose parents would hit them with a belt, and even have them “choose” a branch from the tree to be used as a whip to hit them with. I’ve heard parents say they chased their child through the house with a belt because s/he wouldn’t listen, all the while screaming, threatening, and calling the child names.

Continue reading "RELATIONAL PARENTING AND…SPANKING??? The debate goes on…" »

November 21, 2007

THANKSGIVING: APPRECIATE WHAT YOU HAVE

So often we get caught focusing on all the negatives in our lives to such a degree that we forget about the positives. We end up concentrating on all the things that bring us down; the things we don’t have, our financial struggles, the last argument we had with a loved one and a thousand other negatives we can’t seem to shake.

In the midst of all the negatives running through our heads, we forget that we have a lot of things to be thankful for.

I’m as guilty of this as anyone. For example, I’ve just spent much of my day dealing with technical difficulties related to a new product I’ve created. I’ve been so focused and annoyed about the glitches that I haven’t even thought about how cool it is to launch my first product. The glitches are an inconvenience; my product is an exciting new step.

So in honor of Thanksgiving, I’m going to take the time to be thankful…what a novel idea I know and here it is:

Continue reading "THANKSGIVING: APPRECIATE WHAT YOU HAVE" »

November 18, 2007

RELATIONSHIP SKILL: HEALTHY SELF-ESTEEM FROM THE EYES OF A CHILD

Pia Mellody stresses the importance of healthy self-esteem in all relationships; without it we are often relationally lost. I also have learned, through both personal and professional experience, the power of healthy self-esteem. Subsequently, I’m continually trying to teach my children how to practice healthy self-esteem.

So, in my effort to teach my children about this all important skill, I asked them if I could run some work stuff by them and if they would help me put it in kid language. They were too happy to oblige.

I explained the concept of inherent worth and stressed that everyone in the world is equal to everyone else...no matter what. I was clear to point out that Tom Brady is no more worthy than my son, daughter, or anyone else; nor is the President of the United States, Maya Angelou, or John Mayer.

I further explained that there is nothing anyone has to do to earn his/her worth; we are all worthy just because we are alive and breathing. Girls are equal to boys; boys are equal to girls; adults are equal to kids and kids are equal to adults…period.

Continue reading "RELATIONSHIP SKILL: HEALTHY SELF-ESTEEM FROM THE EYES OF A CHILD" »

November 13, 2007

STAYING AND WORKING THROUGH RELATIONSHIP DIFFICULTIES: If you choose to stay in a relationship, then do so with a good spirit.

John agreed to stay in the marriage after his wife had an affair seven years ago. She was remorseful, apologized repeatedly, and went to great lengths to repair the damage she’d done. John has tried to make her pay ever since.

Susan agreed to stay in her marriage after her husband was verbally abusive for years. He sought treatment for his anger, significantly calmed down, and did everything in his power to repair the damage he’d done; Susan has tried to make him pay ever since.

There are a hundred similar scenarios to the ones above where one partner harms the relationship in some way or another and the other partner makes him/her pay for the rest of the marriage for that damage.

Here’s a wake up call to those of you who have been making your partner pay for mistakes they made years ago: Stop it. Either step into the relationship or step out of it, but don’t, for a moment, believe that you have the right to make your partner pay for his/her mistakes from now until eternity; you don’t have that right. Frankly, it’s abusive.


Continue reading "STAYING AND WORKING THROUGH RELATIONSHIP DIFFICULTIES: If you choose to stay in a relationship, then do so with a good spirit." »

November 01, 2007

IN RELATIONSHIPS ACTIONS ARE JUST AS IMPORTANT, IF NOT MORE IMPORTANT, THAN WORDS…

GANDHI: Happiness is when what you think, what you say, and what you do are in harmony”

Many people can say the right things. They may be able to preach about the right thing to do, share wonderful values, give others impeccable advice, and in essence be wonderful at having the relationally healthy answers to many of life’s difficult moral dilemmas. They may even be adamant about attending church every Sunday and be devout…Christians, Muslims, Buddhists, etc.

Where they falter however, is in living out their spoken values. Many people have a difficult time practicing what they preach.

Here are some real life examples:
• A preacher preaches about the importance of faithfulness within a marriage…while he is actively having an affair.
• A wife speaks about the importance of respect and having a loving family…while she continually screams at her husband and children and calls them names when she gets angry.
• A husband talks about the importance of family…yet is seldom home to spend time with his wife and children.

Continue reading "IN RELATIONSHIPS ACTIONS ARE JUST AS IMPORTANT, IF NOT MORE IMPORTANT, THAN WORDS…" »

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