THE MOST IMPORTANT RELATIONSHIP IN YOUR LIFE IS THE ONE WITH YOUR SELF: Five (of ten) quick tips to get you on the right track

Taking care of your is so vital to a healthy, fulfilling life that professionals, lay people, clergy, and even business organizations sing its praises.  The airlines stress it (put the oxygen mask on yourself first, then the children), therapists give it as homework (focus on positive self talk and affirmations), and life coaches center their businesses on helping clients achieve it (creating work and life balance).

Self care is vital to having healthy relationships yet so few people know how to do it.  Here are the first five quick, easy tips that will get you started on the right step for healthy relationships.  The next post will have the remaining five (in the spirit of keeping posts short but sweetJ).  Start incorporating these into your life today and feel the shift in your self and your relationships tomorrow.

1.  Remove ALL negative self talk from your life permanently.  When you make a mistake, look for the gift in it.  All mistakes have something to teach us so look for the lesson and stop with the put downs.  When you hear that inner voice calling you stupid, ugly, fat, or…(fill in the blank), silence it; don’t give it more than a second’s notice and remind your self that talking negatively is not going to help you or anyone else.

2.  Remove all disrespect from your life.  Know that you deserve to be treated well by all people, at all times…and settle for nothing less than that.  Also know that those around you deserve to be treated well at all times, by all people (including you) so do not be disrespectful to others under any circumstances either.

3.  Take care of your needs first, followed by the needs of others (when it will not be harmful to you).  Do not care-take others; it’s grandiose of you and an insult to the other person.  The only exception to this is with a child or an extremely ill person who cannot live without someone to provide for him/her.  Even then, get help and do not sacrifice your life for theirs.

4.  Learn to say no.  Not every request needs to be met by you.  Learn to say yes to the ones you truly want to say yes to and set limits, by saying no, to the ones you know you should say no to.  Too many people say a thousand yes’s to every one around them and have little left for themselves. This will not help you or your loved ones.  Learn to say no when you need to--without guilt.

5.  Begin to surround yourself with healthier people.  Healthy people don’t hang out with unhealthy people--at least not for long.  If you’re surrounded by unhealthy people, then it’s time to take an honest look at yourself and ask yourself why.  Stop trying to be everyone’s savior and get yourself healthy.  Get into whatever 12-step group necessary (Ala-non, AA, CODA, SLAA, and COSA etc.) and get healthy!

CHALLENGE:  Choose two areas to focus on from this post and work them like crazy into your life over the next month.  Don’t worry about those around you right now, just focus on your work and pay attention to the changes you see and feel.  Write in and let us know what you see!

Comments

[ALFONZO]

It's like your inside my head. I will do this and I know the principles. I just fell off some how but your blog has opened my eyes in a big way.