TRUSTING YOUR INSTINCTS IS VITAL IN RELATIONSHIPS
• Tony’s girlfriend tells him she’s going to leave him if he doesn’t marry her. His first thought is it would be a relief. He quickly feels bad for having that thought and stuffs it down.
• Joan finds out her husband has been talking on sex chat rooms. Three years ago she caught him doing the same thing. For a split second she wonders if he’s a sex addict. She pushes the thought away.
Regardless of whether the topic is marriage, affairs, addictions or trust—too many people ignore their instincts. And it costs them.
People ignore their instinct for many reasons: not wanting to feel bad, fear it may be true, fear it may break up the relationship, self doubt, the other person’s explanations, etc. Too often we are too scared and don’t want to rock the boat.
The problem, however, is that boat is going to rock at some point if we don’t address the issue. Pia Mellody has a great saying: “Hug your demons or they’re going to bite you in the ass.” This is true for your gut as well.
When your gut is telling you something, it behooves you to listen. Pretending something’s not there, doesn’t make it go away. If anything, pretending gives the issue the time, space and freedom to grow. Eventually, it will be too big to ignore and perhaps too big to move past.
If your instincts are telling you something’s off—check it out, don’t block it out. Facing the issue up front is the best move you can make for your relationships—at any stage.
CHALLENGE: Is there something your gut has been trying to tell you? If so, have the courage to address the issue directly. Listen to your gut when you hear the other person’s response.