2 posts from March 2013

March 19, 2013

Feeling Gloomy for Far Too Long? Fight Back

IStock_0sadfacesmallMany people struggle with feeling gloomy, down or even depressed from time to time. Sadness and feeling down is a normal part of the human condition. If we’re not careful though, what is a normal part of being human can turn into a more serious issue.

Fortunately, feeling down can be turned around if we start taking active steps to shift it. For those of you who struggle with depression, this is true for you as well. If you’re tired of feeling down and not liking yourself, your circumstances or your relationships, then take action to turn things around.

Below are several ways to actively intervene on depression, feeling down and/or not liking something in your life (or in you). Many of these suggestions, you have no doubt heard before, so instead of ignoring them, think to yourself that you’ve heard these a thousand times before…BECAUSE THEY WORK. When we get down, we think everyone’s full of crap and the things “they” tell us to do are stupid. If you’re struggling, tell that voice in your head to be quiet…and then just try these ideas. You have nothing to lose.

1.    Tell the inner critic in you to shut up. You cannot feel better when you have a constant voice in your head telling you how much you suck, or how fat you are or how disgusting you are or on and on. Cut the negative self-talk, it is your WORST enemy. Tell it to shut up and refuse to give it airtime. Our inner critic’s goal is to keep us down. Don’t give it that power. When you hear your inner critic being abusive (yes our inner critics ARE verbally abusive), literally say, “Oh would you just shut up. I’m not interested in hearing from you today.” Say this every time and don’t give it a second thought.
2.    Talk to yourself with compassion. When you make a mistake, don’t like how you look, etc., talk to yourself as you would talk to your best friend. You wouldn’t tell your best friend she looks terrible because she’s fat, ugly, disgusting, etc. You would say to not worry about a bad hair day—we all have them. If her boyfriend broke up with her, you would tell her that it’s his loss and she’s awesome. Practice talking to yourself as though you were your own best friend and leave the verbal abuse out of the equation.

Continue reading "Feeling Gloomy for Far Too Long? Fight Back" »

March 06, 2013

A Note to Men: Don’t Ignore The Complaints…Even When They’re Not Spoken Directly

IStock_00silencemallI have to say that I have mixed feelings about what I’m about to say. You see, on the one hand it really is important to be tuning into the complaints that are made under a person’s breath or through their cold actions. On the other hand, though, it’s also important for people to truly speak what’s going on for them—clearly, respectfully and DIRECTLY. But, that’s a different post I suppose…

So...let’s focus on this post to help those of you who think everything’s fine when it really isn’t. I’m largely speaking to the men about this (although there are always exceptions) because in my experience women are often the ones who are complaining indirectly, while the men are often the ones ignoring those subtle (and not so subtle) complaints.

Women’s complaints often center around the men not being home, working too much, not talking, being too explosive, drinking too much, not playing with the kids and on and on. The men hear these complaints as proof that they can’t do anything right. More often than not, the men respond by either blowing up or blowing off the complaints, believing the women will “get over it.” And the truth is, the women do get over it…for a while. If the men get angry at their complaints, the women will often shut down. If the men ignore the complaints, the women often feel resigned and pull away or go underground with their resentments.

Continue reading "A Note to Men: Don’t Ignore The Complaints…Even When They’re Not Spoken Directly" »

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