The Girl Effect

On behalf of the Girl Effect project, this post is written for all the girls throughout the world who have been kept down by men, women, nations and our world. 

Young girls, throughout our world, are crying for our help.  They’re begging for our help.  Their bodies are being sold, beaten and raped.  These girls have no say.  Young girls are being forced to marry men twice -- even three times -- their age.  Some girls are only eight years old when they are given to an older man as a wife.  He rapes this young child under the license of marriage.  Fathers give their precious little girls away for many reasons: to settle a debt, buy a cow, make amends for their own poor behavior, because they view girls as their property to do with as they please and on and on.

The treatment of girls as a commodity is happening in my world.  The ongoing abuse of young females—and, indeed, females of all ages-- is happening in your world.  The violence, degradation and abuse of females is destroying our world.  These abuses are happening today and are tragically effecting our tomorrow. 

Life-Changing Mentoring (Part II)

My previous post talked about five tips for becoming a life-changing mentor.  Below is the second half of the list.  Enjoy:
1.    Be open to the learning.  If you think you know it all, realize that you have so much further to go.  My supervisor once said that she loved master level clinicians so much more than bachelor level ones.  Her reason was because bachelor level clinicians thought they knew everything, whereas master level clinicians knew they had so much more to learn.  As mentors and leaders, there’s always more to learn.  Every time I think I have it down, something happens to put me back in my place and show me I have more to learn.  Embrace learning as an ongoing process that has endless roads and no end in the destination.
2.    Plug in accountability checks.  To be a great mentor we need to put in a system of checks and balances.  Meet with your mentee monthly or more to discuss how the mentoring is going and what would be more helpful.  Don’t tell them how they’re doing—ask how you’re doing.  Be open to their feedback, suggestions and requests.  There is nothing like learning from our students how to better teach—be daring enough to be curious. 

RELATIONSHIP POWER PACK: ADDING A LITTLE TENDERNESS TO YOUR RELATIONSHIPS

I’m very excited to announce the arrival of my new Couples Power Pack and my new Parents Power Pack! These three-in-one card deck packs consist of Tender Sprinkles, Tender Coupons, and Relationship Cornerstone cards.  These are great tools for adding a little spark to your romantic relationships and a little connection and fun to your relationships with children. You can use them for yourself or give them away as gifts to your family and friends.

Below are brief descriptions of each card set followed by one suggestion on how to use the cards in your
relationships. Feel free to contact me with any questions, suggestions, or feedback at

l.merlobooth@charter.net.

Until then, buy a pack today and add a little tenderness to your relationships!

SELF LOVE IS A PREREQUISTIE FOR ROMANTIC LOVE: The Gal In The Glass

I'm in Arizona again at The Meadows. This time I'm doing Survivors II which is a workshop which focuses on issues that are showing up in your adult life. As I'm in this workshop I'm reminded of the importance of self. It seems that so much stems from how we feel about ourself...not what we say we feel, but how we truly feel.
Ironically, I ran across this poem as I was having this insight. This poem was printed on a small laminated card. At the bottom of the card is www.hazeldon.org. This is thier material.
I hope you find it as helpful and insightful as I did... (Note: there is also one for men which is virtually the same with a few changes made for gender).

The Gal In The Glass
When you get what you want in your struggle for self
And the world makes you queen for a day
Just go to a mirror and look at yourself,
And see what that gal has to say.

For it isn't your husband or family or friend
Who judgement upon you must pass;
The gal whose verdict counts most in your life
Is the one staring back from the glass.

Some people may think you a straight-shootin' chum
And call you a person of place.
But the gal in the glass says you're only a bum
If you can't look her straight in the face.

LET YOUR LIGHT SHINE

A friend of mine once gave me this inspirational writing from Marianne Williamson as a gift. I have posted this in my office and have since read it many mornings to help center me. I hope you will find it as useful as I have…

Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate.
Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure.
It is our Light, not our Darkness, that most frightens us.

We ask ourselves, who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented,
fabulous?
Actually, who are you not to be?
You are a child of God. Your playing small does not serve the
world.
There is nothing enlightening about shrinking so that other
people won’t feel unsure around you.

We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within
us.
It is not just in some of us; it is in everyone.

As we let our own Light shine, we unconsciously give other
people permission to do the same.
As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence
automatically liberates others.

Marianne Williamson

Challenge: Read this speech every morning before you start your day. When you have a decision you are struggling to make due to fear - - read this to help guide you in your decision. And when you find yourself staying in a relationship because you believe it is better than being alone (which is fear) - - read this and realize you deserve more.

THE SERENITY PRAYER

The Serenity Prayer is a prayer many people are familiar with and use for guidance. It is common in 12-step meetings. The first part of this prayer is simple, spiritual and speaks volumes in only a few words. These words may help to center you on difficult days:

“ God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change,
courage to change the things I can,
and the wisdom to know the difference.”

Challenge: Take a few moments each day to get centered, slow down and feel at peace. Five minutes each morning can make a significant difference in your entire day. Try it for a week and notice any changes.

MAYA ANGELOU'S WORDS OF WISDOM

I was just sent this e-mail and enjoyed the life and relational tips so I am passing it on. Hope you enjoy it…

In April, Maya Angelou was interviewed by Oprah on her 70+ birthday.

Maya Angelou said this:
"I've learned that no matter what happens, or how bad it seems today, life does go on, and it will be better tomorrow."
"I've learned that you can tell a lot about a person by the way he/she handles these three things: a rainy day, lost luggage, and tangled Christmas tree lights."
"I've learned that regardless of your relationship with your parents, you'll miss them when they're gone from your life."
"I've learned that making a "living" is not the same thing as "making a life."
"I've learned that life sometimes gives you a second chance."
"I've learned that you shouldn't go through life with a catcher's mitt on both hands; you need to be able to throw some things back."
"I've learned that whenever I decide something with an open heart, I usually make the right decision."
"I've learned that even when I have pains, I don't have to be one."
"I've learned that every day you should reach out and touch someone.
People love a warm hug, or just a friendly pat on the back."
"I've learned that I still have a lot to learn."
"I've learned that people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel."

Challenge: Choose one of these nuggets and work it in your life: making decisions with an open heart; don’t use being in pain as an excuse for you to be a pain; touch someone’s soul daily... Remember to be conscious of the effects of this action.