This week I’ve been at the Ali Brown SHINE Conference for Women Entrepreneurs. It is amazing to see a room full of women entrepreneurs sharing ideas, encouraging big leaps and pulling for the best in one another. It is a wonderful shift to see women thinking about themselves and trusting in themselves to bring their businesses to the next level. Too many women, for far too long, have thought almost entirely about others—this shift to thinking about themselves—ourselves--is great to witness.
As I listen to woman after woman stand and tell her story of success, I’m struck by the difficulty so many women have with focusing on themselves. Often women are focused on anything and anyone BUT themselves. They’re busy taking care of the children, keeping the house tidy, cooking dinner, taking care of their husbands, fathers, mothers etc., and they forget about themselves. When they do think of themselves, it’s often an afterthought.
Women, we need to change this. We cannot be an after thought in our lives. We cannot sacrifice everything we have for everyone else and barely have ourselves be a part of that equation. And if we are raising daughters—it’s even more paramount that we not do this. Putting countless others before ones self, is toxic to ones self and to our daughters. If we constantly put our needs second (or third or fourth), then we teach our daughters to do the same—even if our words say differently.
When women constantly put their needs last, it does not serve women or their families. Women have to be able to care for themselves at least as well as they take care of others. If they don’t, they and their families will pay for it. When we continually put others ahead of ourselves, we get tired, run down and all too often, depressed. We end up having little energy to give to anyone and even less for ourselves.
Women, take care of you. Stop putting yourself last. Self-care is not selfish… it’s necessary. Constantly putting others before you, teaches them to put you last. Take the time to pay attention to your needs. Stop thinking 24/7 about what you can do for others and start thinking about what you can do for you. What do you need? What do you want? Give yourself the time to rejuvenate. Begin to pay attention to what makes you tick. Notice what gives you energy.