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March 03, 2006

ACCEPT NOTHING LESS THAN YOU GIVE (Cornerstone #5)

Do not allow others to treat you poorly for any reason. Each time you passively remain in the presence of someone who is treating you in hurtful ways, you send a clear message that this behavior is okay. This is not an acceptable message. It does not serve you or others to be hurt or humiliated.

If you are treating others in your life well (respectful, honest and authentic), then you should accept nothing less from them. If you are not respectful to others, then clean up your act and then demand they clean up theirs. The first move starts with you.

I believe that people will rise or fall to the level of our expectations more often than not. If I don’t expect others to treat me well, then chances are they won’t. The same is true for you. If you have people in your life who treat you poorly, then what message are you giving them about their behavior? Do you complain but take it, or do you tip toe around the person in the hopes that you don’t set him or her off? Do you know that you have the right to be treated well? If so, do your actions convey this?

We often have many choices when in the presence of someone who is being hurtful yet sometimes we get paralyzed and freeze. During those times remember to take a deep breath, hold it for 4 seconds and slowly release it through your mouth. After you have slowed down, decide if this type of behavior is something you want or need to be around. If it is not, take care of yourself and set a limit, walk away or get help. Be confident in the knowledge that no one deserves to be treated poorly; you have the right to be treated with integrity by everyone in your life at all times. Anything less is not okay.

Challenge: Make a list titled “Rules of Engagement” and on that list write the rules you want to set for how people need to act when in your presence (i.e. must be respectful, may not hit, swear, call me names, must be honest etc.). Pick two rules from your list and decide how you are going to intervene if someone violates your rule. Finally, if someone violates them, follow through with your limit.

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