« ARE YOU HANGING ON TOO LONG? WHEN TO END A RELATIONSHIP GUILT-FREE | Main | GRIEF: SHOULDN’T I FEEL MORE SAD? »

August 13, 2007

RELATIONSHIPS AND JUDGMENTS DON’T GO WELL TOGETHER: Having humility in all our interactions

Have you ever noticed the constant judgments we make about people? In fact, it’s not uncommon for us to determine that someone’s an idiot, stupid, a *itch etc., in the blink of an eye. It’s amazing how quickly we think we can sum up a person by their looks, their mistakes, or their (fill in the blank).

When the tables are turned however, and we are the ones being judged, we hate it. We want others to give us the benefit of the doubt and believe it’s unfair when we are judged too quickly or too harshly. In fact, we often don’t want others to negatively judge us at all. I wonder what it would be like if we gave others that same gift?

When it comes to relationships, it’s best to take judgments off the table. The judgments I’m speaking about are the ones that are negative, condescending, and arrogant. When we are on our high-horse making hurtful, snap judgments about others, we are not being relational.

There’s a difference between thinking that someone made a mistake, or your neighbor’s shy, versus assuming someone’s a klutz because s/he dropped a glass, or your neighbor’s a b*tch because she never talks. The difference is disdain. When we are disdainful towards someone, we are not attractive to be around and we’re certainly not relational.

When it comes to judgments, have the humility of realizing that on any given moment you also can make a mistake, or look less than intelligent, or not be the kindest person in the world. Have the humility of accepting yours and other’s humanness.

Challenge: Notice other’s behaviors, comment about how it impacts you, set limits on them when necessary etc., -- just do it without judgment.


Comments

Feed You can follow this conversation by subscribing to the comment feed for this post.

The comments to this entry are closed.

TrackBack

TrackBack URL for this entry:
https://www.typepad.com/services/trackback/6a00d8341cc5df53ef00e398277ee68833

Listed below are links to weblogs that reference RELATIONSHIPS AND JUDGMENTS DON’T GO WELL TOGETHER: Having humility in all our interactions:

Connect with Lisa

Icon Email

Icon Twitter

Icon Facebook

Icon Linkedin

Icon YouTube

Icon Blog Feed

Subscribe to Straight Talk 4 Women

Enter your email address to receive
updates every time I post


Powered by FeedBlitz

Listen to Podcasts

Purchase Products

Attend an Event

Training for Therapists