RELATIONSHIPS AND TRAVEL: WHAT IF YOUR PARTNER TRAVELS FOR WORK?

Many couples have to deal with the reality of one or both partners traveling for work.  Frequent travel can be stressful on the couple as well as the entire family unit if there are children involved.  Below are a few tips to help couples minimize the stress of this typically stressful dynamic:

Tips for the traveling partner:

• When you are home—be present: it’s one thing to have to travel a lot, it’s an entirely different thing to travel a lot and then come home and be constantly working.  When you are home, be sure to incorporate a technology-free zone into your nighttime rituals with your spouse and children.  I struggled with this for a long time until I realized my children were beginning to pull away from me.  It took me quite a while to get them to warm up to me again—by being present emotionally and physically. 
• Before you go on your trip, give extra attention to your family.  The weekend before, spend a day having fun, playing a game or going out on a date.  Don’t allow the trip to just sneak up on you—plan ahead. 
• If you travel weekly, incorporate a ritual into the travel so your children and partner have something to look forward to.  I typically leave each person a tender sprinkle on their pillow before I go (a personal note with a loving message) and pick up a little something for when I return. 

Call every night to check in.  I’m shocked at how many couples barely speak when one of them is away.  You need to stay connected—call and check in.  If you have children, call to say good night.  If you can’t call, send them a text or e-mail (your partner can read it to them if they’re too young to read it themselves).  You are never too busy to check in, so don’t use that as an excuse. 

When you return, thank your partner for taking care of everything and everyone while you were gone.  Do not take them for granted.  It’s a lot of work taking care of the household and children—appreciate it.  Know that your traveling impacts those around you (with or without kids).

 

Tips for the non-traveling partner:

• If you want something from your partner—ask them.  Don’t complain every time they go and moan about them having been gone when they return.  If you would like them to reduce their travel, ask them.  You need to realize what you are willing and not willing to accept around this issue.  Once you decide to accept a certain degree of travel, accept it with a good spirit.
• Welcome your partner home.  There’s nothing worse than being gone for several days, walking into your home and no one even says hello.  Stop what you’re doing and greet your partner with a hug and kiss.  If this feels crazy, chances are you and your partner are already distant.  Pay attention to this distance so you can get back on track.
• Whenever possible, be willing to travel with your partner and enjoy a great trip.

 

Traveling can be hard on couples if they don’t pay attention to the little touches.  Don’t get into bad habits.  It’s best to start with ground rules from the beginning so everyone knows what to expect.  If one partner begins to feel resentful about the traveling, both need to sit down together and discuss it.  Both partners need to be willing to periodically evaluate how the travel is going and what, if any, changes need to be made.  If you both tackle the traveling issue as a team there will be less resentment and less stress.  Remember you’re both on the same team.  Put your heads together and determine what steps you need to put into play for your family.  Continue to reassess and readjust as necessary.

 

CHALLENGE:  If your family is impacted by travel, look over the tips above and choose which ones you need to implement.  Begin to implement them and see what happens.  Good luck and let us know how it works!  

Comments

[Eileen]

And the thing is.... I did see this as a sign in the beginning and questioned them as to if they wanted to be in a relationship on date #1.... they said yes, but in their mind it was a yes, they would like one but in reality they could not have a real close commitment with anyone. But I got sucked in to the idea of them eventually wanting me. :)

[Eileen]

One should be wary of getting attached and involved also with someone they meet initially who travels a lot. Could be a sign, red flag that they are not into a committment and like fleeting relationships and nothing serious. I just broke away from someone I never should have gone out with and thus got attached and very very hurt. I haven't date a lot but next time I will really pay attention.

[House For Sale]

Trust and love are two keys for a good relationship when both or one frequently travels for work.. Great Ideas!

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[traveller]

Everybody loves to travel. For many people it may be a hobby, for others, it may be for leisure purpose and get a break from their daily routine lives. One way to make your travel memorable and enjoyable is by being accompanied by some of your family members, especially children.

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[UPiC]

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