March 11, 2010


I recently was given a great bookmark from my husband on building a great community.  The bookmark had a long list of suggested moves a person could make.  It led me to think about creating a similar one for relationships. 

I often talk to audiences about the power of one person setting a ripple effect of change in motion in their relationships and ultimately throughout their lives.  Below are suggestions on how to start the ripple.  Please note that these are to be done regardless of what other people are doing on their end.  Starting the ripple means you do your part to create the shift: Changing Me, Changes We...it starts with you.

*  Be kind, loving and cherishing...especially to those closest to you
*  Treat others as you wish them to treat you...even when they’re not
*  Honor the statement “There’s no excuse for abuse”...yours or others
*  Be accountable...when you make a mistake own it and repair it
*  Hold others accountable for how they treat you..not to do so is harmful to you
*  Be authentic...tell your truth with love, even when it’s the more difficult thing to do
*  Lead by example...if you don’t live it then don’t preach it
*  Set limits in a loving and firm way
*  When angry use a quiet, centered, powerful strength...don’t rage or silence
*  Act with integrity in all you do--and in all areas of your life
*  Don’t play small...and don’t try to make others look or feel small either
*  Own your power...walk in the world with your head held high and know you deserve to be here
*  Never settle for crumbs and think you have a birthday cake...they’re only crumbs
*  Incorporate tender sprinkles (small acts of kindness) with your family and loved ones...compliment, touch, share, write a kind note
*  Ask for what you need directly...and don’t get upset about something you never asked for
*  Know that your partner is not a mind reader...and don’t expect them to be.
*  Say it straight...don’t beat around the bush, manipulate, or be passive-aggressive--grow up
*  Never ignore someone...it’s mean, cold, unacceptable and ruins relationships
*  Protect yourself from affairs...send clear messages out to the world that you’re taken
*  Don’t allow yourself to be a part of breaking up someone else’s family...your lover is likely to do the same to you as you did to their spouse--walk in the world with integrity

START THE RIPPLE...and feel its force.

CHALLENGE: Choose 2 things on the list above that you don’t currently do and start doing them.  Continue to add to your list. Notice the ripple of change as a result.


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Here are the 2 that I need to do... I'm pretty good about the others...

When angry use a quiet, centered, powerful strength...don’t rage or silence


Know that your partner is not a mind reader...and don’t expect them to be.

Great list! :)

"if you don’t live it then don’t preach it"
loved this quote so much

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