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December 29, 2011

Here’s To The Abnormal Relationship And Setting The Bar Higher (Part II)

Recently I wrote about the first five characteristics or creating great relationships rather than “normal” ones.  Below is Part II of setting the bar higher and the remaining five of 10 characteristics of healthy relationships. Enjoy.

6.     Giving. Go out of your way now and then to do a kind act.  Take time to think about what the other person likes (not what you like) and that to them.  If they like to hear compliments—compliment; if they like to see actions—show them action; if they want you to listen better—tune in and listen.  Give them what you know they would love to receive rather than what you think they need.
7.     Mutuality.  Great relationships are about give and take.  There’s a natural rhythm of two people equally giving to the other.  In not so great relationships, it’s more common for one person to be the giver while the other person often takes.  Make sure you are neither the one always giving nor the one always taking.
8.    Personal Strength.  Cultivate the ability to set limits and hold your own in a relationship without squashing the other person in the process.  Being able to share your thoughts, ask for your needs and wants and to hold loved ones accountable for how they treat you are all imperative to great relationships.

9.    Equality.  View your contributions as equally important as your partner’s, co-worker’s, friend’s etc., and visa versa. The greatest relationships radiate equality.  There is a free-flowing sense of reverence and regard for one another’s thoughts, feelings and ideas. This reverence is present regardless of the money derived or not derived from each person’s daily contributions.
10.    Fun and spontaneity.  In all relationships, fun and spontaneity add to life.  Go someplace in the spur of the moment, laugh like you mean it, be playful and tell harmless, funny jokes.  For romantic relationships there should be some chemistry, sexuality and fun connection.  If there’s no sexual relationship within a romantic relationship then it is not romantic, it is a friendship.  Be friends then, don’t pretend to be lovers.

Incorporating the above characteristics into your relationships is vital for those people interested in moving their relationships from the ordinary to the extraordinary.  Relationships start with you and extend out from there.  Work your side of the equation and hold those around you accountable for working theirs’. 

Challenge:  Choose the one characteristic that you do not do well and begin to focus on this in one to two of the relationships in your life.  Notice what shifts you feel and see as a result.  When you have one characteristic tackled, move to the next one.  Good-luck and here’s to abnormal relationships!


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Nice ideas to build up a strong relation!

Great points to build great relationships!!

Great relationships are also about realizing the time for giving and receiving.. I am in a relationship and there was i time.. when only i have to give endlessly... because it was my time.. and now i know that he can give.. he gives me endlessly just as i gave him, when it was my time.. !! So its also about realizing the time and understand each others position and circumstances!!

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