A Cheat Sheet for Women Who Are Ready to “Step Up”

 

1. Learn to love yourself. It all starts here. If you don’t love yourself, you will not be able to stand up for yourself in any real way. Quit the negative self-talk, stop trying to be perfect, let go of micromanaging, and refuse to put yourself down. If you want to work on yourself, great…just do that without beating yourself up in the process.
2. If you want to be treated as an equal, act as an equal. Know that you deserve to be treated as an equal rather than complaining that you’re not or wishing you were. When you really know it, you will step into situations differently and others will know it as well.
3. Stop allowing the most dysfunctional person in the room to run the show. Ducking, pleading, begging, silencing or even yelling doesn’t stop bad behavior. Refuse to allow fear to keep you imprisoned by the crazy behaviors of others. Take action.
4. Clean it up. Clean up your side of the fence. Find your Grounded Powerful Strength (GPS) and don’t ever excuse, justify or rationalize an aggressive strength. Be calm, grounded, strong and respectful…even in the face of disrespect.
5. Don’t look to others for answers you have within yourself. No one is more of an expert on your life than you. Trust yourself, listen to your instincts and dare to make your own decisions or share your opinions when warranted. 
6. Tune in and make things happen. Pay attention to what you want, what’s not working and what’s missing from your life and start to take the steps necessary to create the changes your soul knows you need to make. Don’t waste another three years hoping things will change or playing victim to your life.
7. Refuse to put others and the world ahead of you. Find the balance of self-care and other care. If you’re a mother, don’t neglect your children or yourself. Spiritually, emotionally and physically feed both. Don’t work so hard that there’s nothing left for you, your family or life. Find moderation in all things and be humble enough to know when you’ve tipped the scales and be courageous enough to recalibrate.
8. Don’t give up your dreams for the dreams of others—find room for both. If you have a dream, find a way to make it happen. Partner with others who will hold that dream with you...not squash it on their way to reach their own.
9. Stop the desperation!!! Do not lose your soul for the sake of romance. Walk in your romantic relationships with the same GPS with which you have to walk in life. Don’t accept crumbs because you don’t want to be alone. Don’t have sex in order to get someone and don’t become a female “player” because you have somehow justified that sleeping around is your sexual right. Please. Cut the crap and have more self-respect than that. If you don’t respect you, don’t expect anyone else to.
10. Stand up and step in. Don’t silently accept the unacceptable and then be hurt, wounded or resentful that the behavior continues. Learn to find your voice and have your back at work, at home and in life. If you don’t have your own back, don’t be upset when no one else does, either.

Women, you have the power to create change on a very grand scale if you dare to step up and step in. Know you are equal to every other human being on this planet and walk in the world as an equal. Don’t duck, placate, yell, scream, beg or plead. Simply use your voice, set your limits, surround yourself with a healthy, supportive “tribe” and confidently step in. We are making leaps and bounds entrepreneurially, it’s time to make leaps and bounds interpersonally. 

Challenge: Look over the list above and choose two points on which you know you have to work...and work them. Be deliberate, consistent and focused. When you have these down, move to the next two.

 

Comments

[Ana]

Great list here and I love the tip about choosing two to focus on at a time. I think I'm doing OK on these, but I'm going to print out your list anyway and give each one more thought because there is sure to be something that is falling through the gaps.